An Answered Prayer = Fire??

A had asked a couple of people to specifically pray for time and energy for us to get everything completed for our home study the end of this week.  As of last week we had a lot to do around the house yet, and I hadn't even started our portfolio for potential birth moms.  I was starting to feel the pressure of everything.  Well, that prayer was answered and definitely not the way I thought it would be.  My work building started on fire 2:30 am on Friday.  Thankfully, it wasn't very large and the firefighters were able to contain it.  But the smoke damage was severe enough that no one was allowed in to the building to work on Friday.  And here I sit on Monday, and the building still hasn't been cleared so I have another day off!!  Umm... answered prayer!  It allowed for me to get things ready for a Saturday garage sale and with the help of amazing family our house is now all in order with the exception of some finishing touches!  I most definitely would never wish anything bad upon anyone or anything, but I feel pretty lucky about the timing of this unexpected time off!

Still Here...

It's been quite awhile since I've done an update, mostly because there hasn't been much of one.  I finally started feeling back to myself the middle of April.  Yep, that was four and a half long months of not feeling well physically or emotionally.  The ectopic took a much bigger toll on me than the first miscarriage.  I survived Mother's Day (barely. worst. one. ever.) and am now feeling ready for what lies ahead... and that being the adoption!  We have our final home study appointment next week.  It was scheduled to be in April, but I just wasn't ready for it so we postponed it. 

It's all becoming a little more real and a little more scary.  I am just having to continually remind myself to trust and let go, which can be so hard for me!  I worry about a lot of things - finances, the health of our future birth mom and child, experiencing a failed adoption, getting pregnant again, whether or not we'll even pass the home study, etc.  It's hard not to when there are so many things that could go wrong... and when I start doing all that worrying I forget about all the things that can go right and that will just work out, even if it's not the way I pictured it to be. 

Okay, sorry this isn't much of an update but it's way past my bedtime!!  Stay tuned to hear about how the final home study went! 

“God, you do love adoption. You’ve adopted us into your family, giving us all rights and privileges of family. We are heirs and co-heirs with Jesus of all your treasures. We pray today for those seeking to adopt a child. Many children in the world do not have mothers and fathers. Many men and women do not have children. God, bring them together. Create the perfect match. Provide resources. Provide perfect timing. Give endurance and emotional strength through the grinding details. Give wisdom for them to anticipate ahead how to prepare practically for the coming change. Strengthen their marriage ahead of this coming gift. Heal any past disappointment. Parental love is nature. Adoptive parental love has to be SUPERnatural. Give a miracle of love and bonding. May nothing stand in the way of you accomplishing a completion of this match – child to parent. In Jesus!”

Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/prayerplainandsimple/2010/10/a-prayer-for-those-waitingpreparing-to-adopt-a-child.html#ixzz31qbxgIt2

Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/prayerplainandsimple/2010/10/a-prayer-for-those-waitingpreparing-to-adopt-a-child.html#qZpLKXBTlzQH0IyD.99

The Day We Decided to Move Forward with Adoption

I will never forget the day we officially decided to start the adoption process.  As we started our journey to begin our family, we hypothetically talked about adoption.  We both communicated it was something that we would  be open to. 

Flash forward almost 3 years later - multiple cycles dictated by fertility drugs, patients at a fertility clinic, two failed IUIs, and a miscarriage after conceiving on our own.  We were coming to a crossroads. 

IVF or adoption?  Financially, we wouldn't be able to do both.

For me, I knew the answer.  Adoption had been placed on my heart for the last year.  I felt I was being hit over the head with it... I would see billboards, bumper stickers, read blogs, weep (or sob uncontrollably) at the song Kings and Queens.  I felt strongly that is was something we should pursue, but I also knew that it had to be a decision both Austin and I made and felt comfortable with, not just me telling him what we should do. 

So I waited... and prayed... a lot...

Then one night we were at home just relaxing in the living room.  Austin was in his recliner and I was curled up on the couch with the dog tucked behind my knees.  "What do you think we should do?" - a question we have both asked numerous times on our road to a family.  As I cried out in my heart, "God, please lay adoption on Austin's heart" Austin said for the first time, "I think we should adopt." 

My heart swelled and the tears started falling... which in turn thoroughly confused my husband!  I had to quickly tell him that they were happy tears.  I felt a wave of relief and joy come over me!

We have a long way to go in the adoption process and the journey includes both excitement and anxiety.  But even though we aren't sure what our adoption story is going to look like, I do know that it's one that we are excited about and that we have an awesome God that's on our side!

    

#1 Sign I Am Feeling Better...

I don't pay attention to what clothes I am putting on in the morning, including my underwear! Ha!  Any of your girls would understand what I mean!  It's been almost a week and a half since I've started showing symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy.  After a little scare in the middle of this last week, I am happy to say my HCG has dropped below 500 so the doctors believe I am out of the danger zone.  I will just have to continue to have my blood drawn until that becomes zero or negative.  Pain has changed to discomfort, which is a relief.  I have been real tired and get winded quite easily, but the doctor said I could expect that for up to four weeks and I just need to give my body some time to heal. 

As far as on the adoption front, we are up to our eyeballs in paperwork and I feel like we've fallen behind with the holidays and now the medical setback.  We are going to schedule our second home study appointment at the end of the month.  Austin has started to prepare our home for the third appointment of the home study where the agency comes to our home.  We've purchases extra smoke and carbon monoxide detectors amongst other safety things that we should have had but didn't. 

I am happy to say things have calmed down for the moment, and I am feeling very thankful for that!