So I Was Pregnant...and now.i'm.not...

Are you surprised??  Guess what, so were we!!!  After deciding to forgo all medication and fertility treatments for the summer, we got pregnant!  I was absolutely shocked to see the positive pregnancy test... the first one I had ever seen!  We spent a couple of weeks of soaking it all in... telling our closest friends and family, thinking of everything we want to accomplish in the next 8 months, discussing the hopes and dreams we had for the baby we had so longed for until the middle of the night... I knew it was early in the pregnancy and that we had some high risks right off the bat, but I decided I was going to enjoy every second of my first pregnancy, and I did... until I knew something wasn't right...

To make a long story short, I had some spotting, went in for an ultrasound, learned I was either earlier than I thought (which I knew I wasn't, I've been tracking this shit for 3 years) or the pregnancy wasn't progressing as it should, had more blood work, saw my HCG levels drop, and waited for my body to recognize the pregnancy was over to have the physical miscarriage.  My doctor did an amazing job of talking me through the process and what to expect, and for that I am thankful. 

My heart is b.r.o.k.e.n.  I can't deny that... but yet, we are coming out of this knowing that we CAN get pregnant, and that gives us a new sense of hope for a future family.  Now, we just have to pray hard that it doesn't take us 2.5 years for the next positive!