A Quick Update

Carly woke me up in the middle of the night to go potty, so I figured I write a quick fertility update since I have a few minutes before I try and find sleep again. 

I had the ultrasound on day 11 after upping my dosage of Letrozole.  After "toga-ing" it down the hallway to empty my bladder that was creating a shadow on the ultrasound, she could see that there were some small follicles on the right side and two bigger ones on the left side, and none of them were big enough.  So she prescribed more Letrozole, five pills a day for five days.  That was the first time I doubled dosages like that in a cycle.  For the infertiles reading this, have you ever had to do that?? 

So then I needed to go in for another ultrasound.  She had wanted New Years Eve at 7:00 am, and I mentioned that we were planning on being in Missouri but could make it work if we had to.  She said no problem, let's make it for Wednesday (day 17) which worked out great.  I didn't drink any water this time, since sometimes I can have peeing on demand issues. 

The ultrasound showed no follicles at all.  Nice. 

So the doctor said that means I either ovulated or they just fizzled out and would get some blood drawn to find out.  (This is where I think oh crap, I didn't drink any fluids, they are never going to get a blood draw from me.)  So after three different people, each poking me at least two times, the blood was finally drawn.  My arms look like I happily have an illegal habit.  The progesterone level showed that I ovulated, so current cycle done. 

I think this really is the first cycle where I have felt a little defeated.  I totally understand that this process, especially in the beginning at the fertility clinic involves some trial and error, but let me tell you, this is some pretty darn expensive trial and error.  Now we know for next month higher dosage for a longer period of time before the ultrasound and injection, and we wouldn't know that without the failure we experienced this cycle.     

It also brings to the front of how fertility really can control your life.  How was I going to tell my husband who doesn't get to see his dad very often that we were going to have to cut our already short trip even shorter so I can come up to get an ultrasound?  How are we going to have sex sleeping in the basement of his dad's house, with his aunt and uncle right beside us?  How do we know if I'll be able to go hunting next November in Missouri?  Will I be pregnant or in the middle of an IUI or IVF?  As much as I try to not let fertility control and consume my life, the reality of it is that a part of it really does.

Okay, the bed is calling my name again.  Round two of trying to fall  asleep tonight.  Wish me luck! :)