Temporary

That word has been on my heart lately. 

This season is temporary.  The season I'm in right now is temporary.  I am married, with no children, and in career limbo.  This is all temporary...well, not the marriage! :)  Am I doing everything in my power to be content in this season?  Am I taking advantage of the blessings we have while being in this season?  As much as we want a family so badly, I know it's a blessing to only have to worry about us to get out the door.  It's a blessing to get a full night sleep, something that I'll be longing for when we have little ones.  I pray I see the positives and feel the contentment of this particular season.

The happiness I get from food and the pain I feel from exercise is temporary.  I am obese, like put the Biggest Losers numbers to shame obese.  I also have a very unhealthy relationship with food and could be the poster child for emotional eating.  Lately, this word temporary has been coming into play as I start to make healthier choices in my lifestyle.  The pain and discomfort I feel while exercising is just temporary and in the long run it's just going to make me feel better.  The happiness I feel in eating certain foods is just temporary and in the long run it's just going to make me feel worse.  Hopefully some of these temporary feelings will lead to some permanent changes.

Life on this earth is temporary.  I've had five funerals or visitations in the last couple of months.  In the last week I've had my Grandpa Cole's funeral and a visitation for a dad of former students of mine.  It's been emotionally exhausting.  My grandpa's funeral was much harder than I had expected.  It brought back a lot of memories and emotions from my mom's funeral 10 years ago.  I got to meet new people and see family I hadn't seen in awhile which was nice.  I love seeing my mom's family - it's the closest thing I have to her, but is also makes me miss her terribly.  It has all been a good reminder to me that this is only the world I'm living in, and it's temporary.  I have eternity ahead of me which at times I long for.  But for now, I'll continue taking one day at a time and not taking each day for granted.   

As far as the infertility is going, I have the normal ultrasound appointment this Wednesday.  Something isn't going right with this cycle and I'm interested to see what the doctor has to say.  Either the meds screwed something up or we had a chemical pregnancy.  I'm not going to come to any conclusions until I talk to the doctor, but either way I think meds for this cycle were started too soon due to the abnormalities, so this one is probably a bust...I am hoping to learn more this week.