Taking a Gamble

Today I had my first internal ultrasound to check things out.  I consulted Dr. Google to see what to expect, and he said not a problem and to not be worried about it.  Well, he was wrong.  It was very uncomfortable and I had horrible cramping following it for two hours.  Oh well, now I know what to expect next time!

The good news:  The lining was in fine shape and I had a nice sized follicle on the right side. 

The bad news:  I didn't have any follicles growing on the left side, which is the side that isn't blocked.  

So...what do we do?  We're going to take a gamble and still go with the Ovidrel injection, even though the growing follicle is on the wrong side.  Interestingly enough, the doctor said that up to 80% of tubes that appear to be blocked in an HSG actually aren't unless you have a history to give it reasons to be blocked.  Maybe, just maybe, that follicle will sneak on down where it's supposed to go.  Worse case scenario, we have another failed cycle and try again...something we have a lot of experience in!

Our First RE Appointment

Last week we had our first RE (reproductive endocrinologist) appointment.  This was a big step for us.  We've tried and failed 6 cycles of Clomid and did some fertility testing through my OBGYN.  We knew it was time to take the next step.  I was nervous, excited, and sick about it all at the same time.  Nervous about what the doctor would say, excited about moving forward, and sick about the amount of money that is slowly trickling out of our savings due to infertility.  After a two hour consult with the doctor, three different pokes for a blood draw, a giant bruise on my hand, and additional appointments set up, I feel pretty good about the path we're going down.  I started taking Letrozole (I was on day 4) and Metformin.  Metformin is a drug typically prescribed to people who have diabetes, but commonly given to women trying to conceive due to the connection of insulin and reproductive hormones.  I have my first ever internal ultrasound next week to check to see how my body responded to the Letrozole.  Pending that, I will be injecting myself with Ovidrel and taking it from there. 

I have a sense of peace of where we are at right now.  I feel like we are continuing to move forward and not being stagnant with the process.  We have as much of an understanding as we can at this point and have a tentative plan for moving forward.  I am thankful that the drugs haven't made me too crazy (yet) and I think my husband would even agree with that!  With Thanksgiving weekend coming to an end, it's hard not to be thankful for all of the blessings I have.  Infertility is painful, but I pray it will one day be something that I will be thankful for.       

The Appointment

Today I make the phone call to the fertility clinic.  I am one who over analyzes EVERYTHING in my life and I think I have played out hundreds of ways the appointment is going to go.  There are just a lot of questions that come up as we start going deeper into this battle... Should we set a timeline for how long we should try this before trying to adopt?  Do we first try medicated cycles again or just go right for the IUI?  Are they going to want to do surgery first before anything on the blocked tube?  What if we use all our money up, get nothing in return, and then don't qualify to adopt because we're too poor?  Or, what if we use all our money up, get pregnant with triplets on the last procedure and can't afford daily living expenses because we have no money?  Am I or my hubby going to be able to live with the insane person I know I will become with the loads of medications and hormones? 

That's the tip of the iceberg people.  I know that there is a plan and that everything happens for a reason, I've been through some pretty crappy stuff as a testament to that.  I just pray that I'll be able to TRUST and have FAITH and feel BLESSED through all of this!

A Blog Beginning!

I have decided to start a blog.  We (the Hubby) and I are going through the infertility battle and I have found comfort and guidance in reading hundreds of blogs of other women going through the same thing.  So, I figured, why not put our story out there too?  It just might help someone out.  But I don't want to limit myself to just infertility.  You will find this blog will also include other things such as recipes, pictures, randomness, and a weight loss journey (hopefully)...Just about life in general, because that's what life is...a broken road, never going exactly how you've planned it.  But one thing is for sure, our road is blessed beyond belief!